Resilience Reset Challenge: Are you giving til it hurts?

Below, psychologist and transformation coach Terri Cole writes about helping you become more aware of your boundary styleand create healthier boundaries.

 I’d like to challenge you to raise your awareness about where you might be over-giving, over-functioning or over-doing.

Over-functioning refers to doing more than your share and being unclear about what is your responsibility, and what’s not.

At work, giving til it hurts could look like not being able to delegate effectively, or picking up the slack for someone on your team and doing work that he or she should be doing because not doing that creates too much anxiety for you.

In your relationships, you may see it as generous to do more than your fair share of initiating plans, paying for meals or activities, and making sure the other person, or people, have everything they need or want, which is a form of over-giving (and co-dependency, to boot!), which also tends to build resentment fast.

A common consequence of chronic over-functioning is getting locked into relationships with under-functioners. The more you do, the less they do. It is a pattern that creates frustration, anger and confusion in relationships.


Personally, I’m still working hard to stop over-giving and over-functioning. I am a work in progress, just like Terri and all of you.

To learn more about what Terri has to say about healthy boundaries, please consider attending her “Live Masterclass,” which is being held on Friday, Sept. 14 at 1 p.m.

You must register to save your spot. To do so, click here.

Psychologist and transformation coach Terri Cole’s website can be found here.

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