I am delighted to share this guest blog post with you written by health coach Stephenie Farrell, who works with The Rose Remedy:
Does this sound like you?
- I’ve made mistakes before, so I don’t trust my own decisions.
- I’m unclear and then miss out on excellent opportunities because I can’t decide what to do.
- I get ‘freaked out’ by all the details, and then I don’t take action on my decisions.
So many people I’ve coached have told me that they’ve missed out on countless opportunities in life because they had difficulty making up their minds.
One woman came to me for coaching because, she said: “Although I’ve accomplished a lot, I still have trouble taking my business to the next level.”
Soon after working together, she revealed that, in the past, she had decided to lend a very substantial amount of money to a friend for a business idea. “It sounded like a good investment at the time, but I didn’t get all the details I should have before dishing out all that money,” she recalls.
In the end, she lost all of her investment money. As if that wasn’t painful enough, her friend skipped town and never repaid her.
Even though this happened several years ago, the experience seriously affected her confidence in her decision-making abilities. In this case, the emotional pain that went along with the decision she’d made many years ago regarding her finances was keeping her from expanding her business and tripling her income.
After we worked through this, she felt like a “weight was lifted” and said she “could finally feel confident” in her ability to make decisions in her personal and professional lives. Now her business is thriving, and she feels happy and fulfilled.
I’ve also missed out on things because I procrastinated on making decisions for one reason or another, but now I can feel confident because I have a simple method to follow to make decisions.
Here’s my advice:
When you’re faced with a decision, the first thing to do is to be crystal clear on your goals.
- Think about return on investment. Ask yourself: “ Will it bring me more business, will it make my life easier in some way, or will I make more money?” The rule of thumb here is that if it doesn’t give me at least a 100-per-cent return on my investment of time and energy, or it doesn’t contribute to my wellbeing in a big way, the answer is a big NO!
2. Consider the alternative if you don’t take the opportunity. In other words, what will or could happen if you don’t take the chance? Maybe if you don’t say yes, it will free up more time to work on a new project you’ve started, or give you more time with your family.
3. Consult your “inner guidance” system. Get quiet, be still and tune into your feelings. I describe it as a “yum” or a “yuck” feeling.
Set a timer for two minutes, sit quietly with your eyes closed and then think of something or someone you love. After the two minutes are up, write down how you felt. How did your body feel? Did you notice warmth anywhere, or any other sensations? Was there a smile on your face as you were thinking of that person or thing?
This feeling is a “yum,” or a “HELL, YES!”
Now, set your timer again for two minutes and repeat the exercise while thinking of something you don’t like. After the two minutes, record how you felt. Notice where you feel it, is it cold or prickly? This feeling is a “yuck,” or a “HELL, NO!”
So, when you’re faced with a decision, check in with yourself. Remember the “yum” and “yuck” feelings are your internal guidance system at work. Sometimes it takes a while to learn to trust yourself. It takes courage, but try to have faith in your instincts and your inner wisdom.
Often, clarity gets in the way of our decision-making. If you feel like you lack clarity in some area, I can help you. Contact me for a complimentary assessment conversation. Together, we’ll create a customized plan of action for you to become your personal and professional best. It’s completely free, with no obligations.
Stephenie Farrell, empowerment coach and wellness expert, offers a unique one-on-one coaching process designed to inspire, empower and support you in becoming your personal and professional best. She lives in Ontario, Canada and serves people worldwide. Visit her on Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram and Youtube or check out her radio show “Clarity. Power. Results.” on iTunes http://www.stepheniefarrell.com/itunes